From struggle to stability
Looking back, I displayed symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) from a young age. However, like many, I was not properly diagnosed until much later. Life with OCD can feel exhausting. When my symptoms were at their worst, I would spend hours upon hours trying to neutralize or correct a single intrusive thought until it felt “right,” only to then get pulled into the same cycle with another thought. While I tried to portray a sense of normalcy to those around me, my OCD was all-consuming inside and I felt like a shell of the person I once was.
I remember feeling so exhausted and distraught by my mind that when I went to sleep, I didn’t want to wake up in the morning. I was in so much pain, and I finally confided in my sister about what was happening under the surface. Being the incredible person she is, she listened, empathized, and guided me toward to seeking appropriate care.
With the support of family and friends, self-compassion, and having the privilege of access to mental health professionals who specialize in OCD, my mental health began to significantly improve. Learning more about OCD and trusting my healthcare providers helped me identify tools to help keep me well. For me, two of these tools are therapy and medication.
Considering parenthood
As many with lived experience know, times of change can lead to increased symptoms of one’s condition. So, it’s no surprise that when my husband and I began discussing our desire to grow our family, my OCD flared up. The heightened anxiety I experienced felt scary and made me seriously doubt my ability to be the future parent I wanted to be. I was so discouraged and frustrated that once again, it felt like OCD was beginning to play the leading role in the story of my life.
Having a partner who has supported me throughout my journey with OCD was incredibly helpful during this time of continuous self-doubt. He reminded me that a path to recovery is not linear, that I had overcome so much along the way, and that I had the ability to do so again.
In addition to increasing the frequency of appointments with my therapist, I was referred to a psychiatrist who specializes in the field of reproductive psychiatry. I am privileged to live in a community where this type of care is available. Unfortunately access to such specialized resources is not universal, even when one has insurance. At my first appointment, we discussed my lifestyle, family history, medication history, and what I wanted for my future. My psychiatrist truly made it feel like we were partners in my care journey, each of us bringing important knowledge and perspectives to the table.
My obstetrician-gynecologist (OB-GYN) at the time had told me I should be on no more than one mental health medication, if any, while pregnant. When I shared this concern with my psychiatrist, she shared that this is unfortunately a common narrative her patients encounter. She shared that while the OB-GYN of course meant well, she did not have a clinical background in psychiatry. My psychiatrist’s background in reproductive psychiatry and women’s health allowed her to share with me what is and is not known about various medications and their impact, if any, on pregnant women. It was with this science-backed information that I considered my options for managing my OCD and anxiety.
SSRI and being Pregnant
Ultimately, we decided on a treatment plan that included two medications, including an SSRI that had been effective for me in the past. After a few months, I was once again feeling confident and excited about the prospect of parenthood.
I was fortunate to get pregnant and experience a smooth pregnancy. From the point when I knew I was pregnant, I kept my therapist and psychiatrist updated on how I was doing so that we could adjust my treatment plan as needed. While being pregnant, symptoms of my OCD began to increase. One explanation for this could be that the dose I was on was less potent in my system at this point in the pregnancy, as one’s blood volume nearly doubles while pregnant. At my psychiatrist’s medical suggestion we increased my dosage of the SSRI.
During the spring of 2025, I gave birth to a healthy baby boy. Navigating being pregnant and parenthood has been a privilege that’s both wonderful and challenging. Like any new parent, there have been times I’ve felt nervous, scared, and overwhelmed… but I’ve also felt excitement, anticipation and joy! And I do not believe I’d have been able to experience those positives- had I been consumed by anxiety and OCD.
Elizabeth Marconi is NAMI’s Senior Manager of Corporate Partnerships & Giving. She strives to raise mental health awareness and education and increase compassion for those impacted by mental health conditions. Sharing her own lived experience feels like a way to transform pain into purpose; she hopes that by doing so, others will know that despite how they might feel, they are not alone.
